• 9 of Swords - Despair

    Indicates that you're in a state of worrying and conflicts. Aloneness and despair. You can feel weak and hurt yourself physical, both conscious and unconscious. Difficulties to relax, anxiety through all of your body. Nightmares and problems to concentrate.

    Losing control over yourself. Mixed up and intimated. Depressed with anxiety.

    Color - Indigo/Turquoise      
    Indigo vibration indicates deep thoughts, insights that sometimes can be hard to think about, and thoughts that are more life determined. The turquoise vibration indicates questioning, changes that create by you being on your wrong life path, and even in insights. Together they indicate that it will be a lot of changes in your thoughts and also spiritual that is evolving, but it doesn't mean that it will flow as you wish. You will be forced to clean out everything that isn't working in your life. You're in a transformation state of mind; constant seeking after what will give you the total experience. Sometimes dramatic when things don't turn out as you wish. It's like a remodeling, and in that, new things also want its place. And symbolic like with refurnishing you will get memories, some garbage in the corner, and tacky wallpapers to sort out. You're at least well aware of yourself and the things you need to change; the developing is moving forward no matter you want it or not.

    The 3rd decade of Aquarius.

    Cuckoo as totem
    You can slip away and let everyone else do your things, you´re a master of manipulation, and you're doing it really good, in fact too good. And maybe so good that you even fool yourself in all the things that you have going on. You see and sense so much, and you can handle most things, even how to get away in the cheapest way, but will you do it in the long run? It's time that you see your greatness and your abilities and
    dares to take responsibility for the thing you do the best, change the condition of others.